what the fuck is this shit?
it's listed as part of the second reason to vote Conservative, most of which I disagree with. we'll come back to the abhorrent patriotism espoused in that National Citizenship Service in a moment, but first a quick run through of those ten reasons [not] to vote Conservative.
first off we have support for the family. apparently "Without stronger families Britain will struggle to overcome the challenges of crime, school failure and economic dependency". from what I've heard from the televised debates the support for families they intend to offer will be a tax break of £3 a week. this will clearly make everything far easier for people to form cohesive social units, it will certainly stop people getting divorced & both of those things will definitely directly cause a decrease in crime. other lifestyle choices must therefore be morally wrong, as the only way to bring up a well-balanced non-criminal child is by paying to be legally recognised as partners. cohabiting couples could never bring up a normal person, nevermind gay couples. that's just a disaster waiting to happen & should be prayed against fervently.
secondly we've got "progressive conservatism". I believe this phrase will, or at least should, confuse a lot of people. if you vote for a conservative party you might expect them to be, I don't know, conservative? if you want progressive politics you're probably going to shy away from anything with "Conservative" written in big fuck-off letters across all its stationary. also mentioned that human rights issues will be addressed, by which I assume they "abolished along with the Human Rights Act" to be replaced by their own definition of human rights in order to facilitate better persecution of brown people with beards & photographers under unnecessary & disproportionate terrorist legislation.
step three is welfare reforms, including the disturbing idea of taking away Jobseeker's Allowance if you refuse to take any job offered to you. I mean, presumably there are people out there who actually can live on the measly JSA provisions & would therefore rather stay comfortable on this than get a job. I mean, £65 a week was more than enough to pay my rent in the first place & I really enjoy the crushing sense of apathy that comes with doing nothing all day, every day.
next up we have a dubiously titled "new schools revolution". I'm not sure how they intend to allow parents to set up new schools, that just sounds like educational mismanagement waiting to happen. they also intend to bring back grammar schools, which we already have, & to allow expulsion of pupils, which we already do.
following this is a pledge to build more prisons, because we all know retributive justice stops all convicted criminals reoffending ever again. perhaps the reason prisons are overcrowded is not wholly because there aren't enough of them but at least partly to do with too many people being given custodial sentences? their other idea is a vaguely-defined compensation for victims of crime... well yes, I know a large sum of money would help me get over a traumatic rape. I could pay for one of those memory modification procedures to erase the post-traumatic stress disorder from my mind.
I do wish I could erase this next set of policies from my mind. more direct democracy you say? well that phrase certainly sounds lovely but if, as proposed, we are allowed to elect our police chiefs then I highly doubt that will have anything but a detrimental effect on the state of policing in this country. people don't know shit, they wouldn't look at anything that's remotely important to in appointing someone to such a post. the electorate are fucking idiots, Brown pointed that out recently. things that sound good to them about fighting crime are unlikely to have much empirical evidence for their efficacy. or they'd just pick the candidate who was best at public speaking, which is certainly not something I look for as a key quality in my law enforcement officers. this section also proposes that the public can veto council tax rises. how is that a good idea? no fucker likes paying taxes, but the council needs money from somewhere. if people are allowed that power then either they'll veto all rises or the councils will just circumvent it by raising tax in tiny amounts so it isn't veto-able anyway.
thankfully the next issue is described as not a settled policy yet, although I'm opposed to it mainly for personal reasons. I fucking love the BBC. it doesn't have cuntish adverts on it & every now & then they manage to put together a TV programme worth watching, which isn't something I can say about many other broadcasters at the moment. they also have the only radio station I would ever consider listening to, primarily because it isn't forcing me to absorb some culturally brainwashed mongoloid's idea of "good music" & also because I'm painfully middle class. so yes, the idea here would be to distribute the licence fee we Britons pay to be allowed to watch television to more broadcasters than just the BBC. while I will admit this probably isn't a bad idea, as if it only pays for the BBC then we should be allowed to watch other channels for free, if it results in third-party adverts on BBC channels to recoup revenue lost from fees then I may as well chuck my telly out now.
where were we? ah right, "a new generation of high quality MPs". they actually name-check Phillipa Stroud here, the woman who set up a church to "cure" gay & transgender people as mentioned earlier in this post. they also seem proud that their new MPs are generally Eurosceptics, which would personally make me want to shake them until blood came out of their ears but oh well, horses for courses.
their next reason to vote, #9, is apparently the concept that a Tory cabinet would be "better" than the current one we have. how? why? give me reasons you cuntflaps, don't just name cabinet members & tell me they're "wiser" because if they're cabinet members then my default assumption is that they're a load of wankers. "to replace wankers with "wiser" wankers" is not a reason to vote for any party, & wisdom is subjective anyway.
finally we have "a well-prepared government". this is the idea that a Tory government would be able to implement policy ideas properly & that "shadow ministers are prepared for their roles in Government". I fucking well hope so. I don't know what else they've been doing since 1997 if not preparing for the inevitable exchange between red & blue that happens every now & then in Britain, resulting in very little change. I'd like to think all parties have people prepared to take on governmental roles, otherwise why the fuck are they a political party?
right. that took longer than anticipated but now we can get back to the idea of a "National (Citizen) Service". they put those brackets there themselves by the way, because apparently "Bring back national service!" is something traditionalists say. traditionalists are a bunch of twats. why would any modern country decide to reinstate national fucking service? we don't want conscription, plenty of people didn't even like the idea when it was deemed necessary to wage war against Nazi Germany & I imagine the number of conscientious objectors would be astronomical were it to be brought back to contemporary Britain.
fortunately they're not quite proposing national military service. instead it's currently an optional scheme run over six months at the end of school at 16 years of age. ideas include aid work (yay!), visiting the elderly (what?) & military training (fuck off). if there are a range of provisions for this then yes, fine, that's lovely. I'm sure teenagers can find something they find at least slightly interesting out there to do for six weeks, even if I imagine the majority will waste the experience. that's fairly unavoidable though.
there is then a cash prize for doing this service, which may be a decent enough incentive for teenagers to actually bother doing it. half of this money would also go to a charity of their choice, which is nice. there's no indication of how much this will be though, or where the money is going to come from. in fact "the cost of funding the Service has not yet been calculated", which implies it may take years for it to be put in place. if it ever is at all.
lastly the volunteers involved in this (are they truly volunteers if they get paid at the end?) will be forced to make a pledge of allegiance to Britain. now up til this point I quite liked the whole idea, but this is wrong. for a government to force its younger citizens to make a statement of allegiance like this makes me feel a bit sick. it's instilling patriotism in children (as Cameron calls 16 year olds, are they really?) in a manner similar to America's abhorrent system of patriotic brainwashing. the government should not be telling you whether you love their country or not, you should decide that yourself based on what they do with it. being born & raised somewhere is not an indication of allegiance any more than being born to a certain ethnic background is indication of allegiance to that. you don't have a choice in it so why should you think it's any good? you could equally have been born somewhere else & forced to love that country, it's not a matter of choice any more.
anyway. these have really been ten reasons for me not to like the Conservative party very much. they have very different priorities to my own so I doubt I'll be voting for them any time soon unless they swing even further away from their principles suggested by their name.
plus they want to allow fox hunting again so they can all suck a dick.
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